


A Dozen Things Varric Dislikes (Taken from a list taller than he is)

by Cap_Sweet_And_Salty_Sadness



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II
Genre: M/M, Tumblr Prompt, Unexpected Kiss, Varric complains a lot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-10
Updated: 2016-12-10
Packaged: 2018-09-07 16:56:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8808670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cap_Sweet_And_Salty_Sadness/pseuds/Cap_Sweet_And_Salty_Sadness
Summary: Varric complains all the time. Carver decides to make him shut up.





	

**Author's Note:**

> From the prompt: "“Quiet Me” with Carver and Varric".  
> Inspired by [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/dragonage/comments/3p2jud/trespasser_spoilers_varric_loves_complaining/).

They’d been in the Deep Roads for weeks now. No sun, no fresh air, no wind on his face. Carver was bloody sweaty underneath his armor, he reeked and dreamt of a bath with hot water. If only Bartrand hadn’t blocked the way back, he probably would be leisuring in bed too small for him, at this very moment.

“I hate caves.”

Carver rolled his eyes so hard he thought they would get stuck. He had to walk alongside the less-charming-by-the-hour Varric who seemed to have the ability to complain about everything. Fenris had the same opinion than him, it seemed, for he groaned in annoyance before them.

“We know, dwarf.”

“You hate caves, the deep roads, the dark, outdoors,” Hawke piped in.

“Slopes greater than ten degrees.”

“The rain, water, pretty much all kinds of weather.”

“Tidy taverns, Orlesian cafés, the entire merchant’s guild.”

Carver threw a side-glance at Varric. “Nugs.” Seriously, who could hate nugs?

Varric had a chuckle, threw his hands in the air. “I have to complain, otherwise you’ll forget about me and trip over me. I’m providing a service here.”

“Yeah, well how you provide us a service and shut up for the rest of our escapade?” Carver quipped, annoyed. He usually wasn’t mean with Varric, but by the Maker, he was being worst than him, the so-called bratty brother.

Varric raised eyebrows at him, surprised, then he was smirking. “Quiet me,” he dared him.

That stopped Carver right in his tracks. Varric did not just dare him. He was about two heads taller than him and Varric was still challenging him.

“Varric!”

Carver stomped over to him, looking murderous, and bent down to grab Varric’s face and kiss him soundly, moulding his lips to the dwarf’s for a second before he let go.

“Hopefully that’ll quiet you long enough, or I’ll have to do it again.”

He bet he hadn’t been expecting that, Carver thought with satisfaction as he joined the other two at the front. Behind them, Varric needed a moment before he could properly function. Surprisingly, he started complaining again.


End file.
